About Larry Bilotta
Larry Bilotta is the Common Sense Marriage Expert, Married over 40 years in the age of divorce. For over 15 years, he has taught couples how to reduce tension, find peace at home and feel fulfilled as a couple again.
"I was in a bad marriage for 27 years and I know what it’s like to have nowhere to turn. I didn’t know who to trust or what to believe. Since I’ve been where you are right now, I’d like to give you a little bit of history as to who I am and how I came to create Marriage 101."
Here’s What Mark Gungor, One Of The Most Sought-After Speakers On Marriage and Family In The Country Has To Say About Larry…
Click the ‘play’ button below to hear what Mark recently had to say about Larry Bilotta on his radio show…
Mark is Sr. Pastor of Celebration Church, a multi-site church with five campuses across Wisconsin, and the CEO of Laugh Your Way America. Mark speaks for churches, civic events, and business meetings and is a much requested speaker for the US Army.
I want you to know why a man like me, without the classic formal education, is qualified to show you how to become personally fulfilled in your marriage. So let me begin by telling you about the many YEARS of my life I spent searching for a way to turn around my bad marriage. I went to several marriage retreats...by myself.
I spent HUNDREDS of hours analyzing books by psychologists, self-help authors and spiritually oriented writers. I wanted to know what to do, how to do it and I wanted some way to make some sense of it all. Ultimately, I had to take all the complexity of authors’ tips, strategies and advice…and dramatically simplify it. That only took me about 27 years to do.
I was in search of an answer to this question: How can I be happy under unhappy circumstances?
When you learn how I arrived at these insights, I hope you'll be inspired when you realize that the two of you can find personal fulfillment in your marriage. I am not a clinical psychologist or a certified counselor who follows age-old “text book” ways to save marriages.
I know I can help you find personal fulfillment in your marriage because I’ve found it in mine and helped other marriages with what I learned throughout my 27 years of marriage hell. Today, my wife Marsha and I are now married over 40 years...and we're closer than ever.
However, this was not always the case. Back in 1974 shortly after I met my wife, I knew nothing about what it takes to be successfully married. In fact, I Knew virtually nothing about who my wife Marsha really was! Our marriage was never a conventional relationship. We went into it with no idea of what was in store for us. No planning, no preparation; nothing.
When we were first married, I was jolted into the fact of how little we had in common and how opposite our values were. These were the years that consisted of fighting, throwing things, screaming and arguing about everything. There were our trips to police stations, car chases and the battles of her way vs. my way. (And that is no exaggeration.)
We were enemies living under one roof. And frankly, she scared me. She made it crystal clear that no matter what I did, she would never let me go. Marsha believed that the grass is never greener on the other side and marriage is forever no matter how "unhappy" you are. Marsha's beliefs and values were impossible for me to understand because prior to her, I always ran away from relationships that became too demanding. Now I found myself in the most demanding one of all.
At this time in our marriage, I didn't understand the significant effect that our values had on our marriage. These “clashing value systems” caused us to collide on a regular basis, but today, I use this profound truth to help many couples realize the source of a lot of their tension. Marsha's constant demand that I become both responsible and disciplined created an unbelievable amount of pressure on me.
As a child, my parents lived an irresponsible lifestyle, unlike the values instilled in Marsha. I grew up without a responsible role model and as a result, I had become quite the irresponsible adult.
Then One Day, After One Of Our Three-Day "Battles", An Odd Thing Happened…
Marsha and I both ended up in the kitchen late one night and she suddenly decided to ‘break the silence barrier’ and tell me about her childhood experiences in depth and great detail. Since she has "total recall" of her entire life, she was able to show me, incident by incident, how each of her childhood experiences created the strong willed adult she had become. She also made me realize how my own childhood produced the irresponsible, undisciplined adult that I had become; one who was constantly seeking the approval of others no matter what it cost my family.
It was through Marsha's stories that I learned how every childhood event programs powerful belief systems that activate in adult life and determine the quality of your marriage and your family. I discovered that only when you identify and compare BOTH you and your spouse’s values, can you even BEGIN to understand each other and resolve the major issues in your marriage, let alone find personal fulfillment.
But here’s the bottom line that I don’t want you to miss...Marsha and I Still Have Virtually nothing In common.
We have completely opposite values, yet we’re happily married today because of the ideas and tools I discovered and developed through my 27 years of marriage hell.
These are the same ideas Marriage 101 was based upon. If you’d like to lay the foundation for a solid marriage so you can get to the source of your arguments instead of dealing with the symptoms - no matter what point you're at in your marriage, Marriage 101 is the place to start.