From: Larry Bilotta
Wednesday, 1:52 p.m.
Marriage counseling is often the "deal breaker", the last ditch attempt at saving your marriage that drives the last nail in the coffin, often causing your spouse to become CONVINCED there is no hope.
I hear all the time. Couples come to me when their marriage is teetering on the edge of divorce.
Like everyone else, they thought marriage counseling was the only solution that could bring their marriage back to normal.
But instead of a promising first step in the right direction, what they found was a marriage counselor who took sides, only focused on the problems and IGNITED arguments instead of focusing on a solution.
Before You Go Any Further...
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to Get Your Marriage Back On Track...
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In This FREE, 26-page Special Report You'll Discover:
A Specific "Action Plan" You Can Use To Meet Your Spouse's Needs...Starting Today.
(Unmet needs are one of the MAJOR reasons marriages fall apart in the first place - and also one of the driving forces behind affairs.)
A Safe Way To Talk With Your Spouse About Important Issues WITHOUT Arguing Or Confrontation.
(Most couples' marriages fall apart because they simply stop talking. When every conversation leads to an argument, it's time to try something new. You'll learn one of the keys that are necessary to communicate WITHOUT conflict in this report.)
A Little MISTAKE Most Struggling Couples Make - That Can COST YOU Your Marriage.
(This mistake is often a "deal breaker" that causes one spouse to completely give up hope on the marriage. Don't become another statistic by falling into this trap!)
How To Identify Where You're At In The 5 Phases Of Marriage That Lead To "The Point Of No Return"
(You need to understand the 5 Phases of marriage that couples experience from the time they become engaged… right down to the bitter end BEFORE you even attempt to save your marriage. If you misjudge the severity of your marriage problems, you could end up pushing your spouse out of your life for good!)
The Fundamental skill you must have to be HAPPILY MARRIED.
(This mistake is often the "deal breaker" that causes one spouse to completely give up hope in the marriage. Don't become another statistic by falling into this trap!)
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Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is It Helping Or HURTING Your Marriage?
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Understand that there is still hope for your marriage – But only if you understand the 5 Melt Down Signs that lead to divorce.
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Does Marriage Counseling Really Work?
This Man, Who Attended Marriage Counseling With His Wife Says...
Recently, I got an email from a man who, although he was not in favor of counseling, attended several sessions anyway because his wife wanted to go.
His email went like this...
"My wife and I are in counseling and I am not even 40% in favor of the counseling, or what is being said by the counselor.
It's screwing with my wife's head, because she is so impressionable in regards to what the counselor says, she is heading in the wrong direction with "some" of what is being said.
I told my wife for months that an aspect she was bothered with in our relationship was not an issue.
When the marriage counselor told her the same thing, she immediately believed it. The problem is that she has put all her confidence in this stranger, yet ignores the man who has been with her 17 years.
The counselor is also doing some of the EXACT same things you and I jointly feel are "mistakes" such as treating the behavior and not the emotion.
I have read many things that make sense in 2-3 newsletters from you, but so far I have only heard one thing that makes sense from the counselor in several 1 hour sessions."
Name withheld for privacy.
I get emails just like this all the time.
So today I'm here to set the record straight and reveal the TRUTH that very few in the counseling profession want to admit...
Marriage Counseling Is Not At
All What It's Cracked Up To Be.
I myself am not a marriage counselor but I restore troubled marriages for a living so I can give you the statistics based on my personal experience with couples...
- Through my Second Chance program, I work with 300 individual spouses total throughout 1 year.
- 80% are men and 20% are women
Each year, this group of individual spouses gives me virtually the same statistics from their marriage counseling experience.
- 65% attended marriage counseling
- The number of sessions they made it through before one spouse quit:
A measly 2 sessions!
Of the 195 spouses who reported their marriage counseling experience to me, only 1% of their stories were positive.
The rest were NEGATIVE complaints that fall into three categories.
Category #1) The marriage counselor took the side of one spouse and upset the other
Category #2) The marriage counselor gave up on the marriage and told the couple there was no hope for them
Category #3) The marriage counselor did nothing but listen and ask "How did you feel about that?"
In the vast majority of reports overall, the marriage counseling experience created MORE of a separation between the couple, rather than bringing them together.
But don't worry, all hope is NOT lost.
Despite What Most People Think, Marriage Counseling Is NOT Your Only Option.
There ARE more effective alternatives to marriage counseling – they are SO effective in fact that even professional marriage counselors are ADMITTING that couples need marriage EDUCATION more than they do marriage therapy!
|In June of ’99, USA Today Reported...
"Even Fans of Marital Counseling are Saying Disturbing Things. Research Shows That it Doesn't Work As
Well As We Once Thought and That it Might Not Last."
This report reinforced the research that shows a great majority of those conducting couples therapy have had no formal training at all.
Perhaps what’s even MORE shocking is the fact that therapists who actually work with couples are in the minority.
"80% Of All Private Practice Marriage Counselors in the U.S. Say they Conduct Marriage Therapy, Yet Only 12% Are in a Profession that Requires them to Take Even One Course on Dealing With Couples."
If you ask marriage counselors about their approach, the vast majority will tell you that they find working with individuals more "productive" than working with couples.
Well I beg to differ. ;-)
Which brings me to...Who Am I and Why Should You Listen To a Guy Like Me?
I'm someone just like you who was stuck in a bad marriage for 27 years. That's right.
I Spent 27 Years In a Marriage
Riddled With Tension, Bitterness,
Resentment and Loneliness!
I spent YEARS searching for a way to turn around my bad marriage. I even went to several marriage retreats...by myself.
I invested HUNDREDS of hours analyzing books by psychologists, self-help authors and spiritually oriented writers. I wanted to know what to do, how to do it and I wanted some way to make some sense of it all.
Ultimately, I had to take all the complexity of authors’ tips, strategies and advice…and dramatically simplify it. That only took me about 27 years to do. ;-)
I was in search of an answer to this question: How can I be happy under unhappy circumstances?
Finally, in the 28th year of my marriage, I developed my own way to understand my wife that resulted in the beginning of a new direction in our marriage.
Today I use this same method to change the course of THOUSANDS of marriages. (But more on that later.)
Unlike most therapists in the marriage counseling profession, I know what it’s like to have nowhere to turn. I didn’t know who to trust or what to believe.
I am not a clinical psychologist or a certified counselor who follows age-old ineffective “text book” ways to save marriages.
I KNOW I can help you find personal fulfillment in your marriage because I’ve found it in mine and and I've helped COUNTLESS other marriages with what I learned throughout my 27 years of marriage hell.
Today, My Wife Marsha and I Are
Still Happily Married Over 35 Years.
However, this was not always the case. Back in 1974 shortly after I met my wife, I knew NOTHING about what it takes to be successfully married.
In Fact, I Knew VIRTUALLY NOTHING About Who My Wife Marsha REALLY Was!
When we were first married, I was jolted into the fact of how LITTLE we had in common and how OPPOSITE our values were. These were the years that consisted of fighting, throwing things, screaming and arguing about EVERYTHING.
There were our trips to police stations, car chases and the battles of her way vs. my way. (And no, I'm not exaggerating.)
We were enemies living under one roof. And frankly, she scared me.
She made it crystal clear that no matter what I did, she would never let me go. Marsha believed that the grass is never greener on the other side and marriage is forever no matter how "unhappy" you are.
Marsha's beliefs and values were impossible for me to understand because prior to her, I always ran away from relationships that became too demanding. Now I found myself in the most demanding one of all.
Then One Day, After One Of Our Three-Day
"Battles", An Odd Thing Happened…
Marsha and I both ended up in the kitchen late one night and she suddenly decided to ‘break the silence barrier’ and tell me about her childhood experiences in depth and great detail.
Since she has "total recall" of her entire life, she was able to show me, incident by incident, how each of her childhood experiences created the strong willed adult she had become.
She also made me realize how my own childhood produced the irresponsible, undisciplined adult that I had become; one who was constantly seeking the approval of others no matter what it cost my family.
It was through Marsha's stories that I learned how every childhood event programs powerful belief systems that activate in adult life and determine the quality of your marriage and your family.
I discovered that only when you identify and compare BOTH you and your spouse’s values, can you even BEGIN to understand each other and resolve the major issues in your marriage, let alone find personal fulfillment.
But here’s the Bottom Line
I Don’t Want You To Miss...
Marsha and I STILL HAVE VIRTUALLY NOTHING IN COMMON.
We have completely OPPOSITE VALUES, yet we’re happily married today because of the ideas and tools I discovered and developed through my 27 years of marriage hell.
These are the SAME ideas and tools I want to share with you today.
But first, I have a question for you...
Are You Tired Of Hearing Your Spouse
Tell You What's WRONG With You?
Wouldn't It Be Refreshing To Hear Someone
Tell You What's RIGHT About You?
Well, one thing's certain...you won't find THAT in a personality test or a marriage counseling session. Instead, what you'll hear is "you are a TYPE A or TYPE B" personality.
Now what good does that do for your marriage?
Okay, so you're more outgoing than your spouse. You already knew that!
What you REALLY want to know is...
Look, we live in a world where people honestly expect other people to be like them. I cant count the number of times I've actually heard people say that!
It's just too easy to get caught up in the trap of "fault finding." Your spouse may try to convince you that you need to CHANGE. Or maybe it's the other way around.
It's very possible that one of you have said the words, "you need to get tougher", or "stop being such a doormat".
Or maybe it's just the opposite. Maybe people tell you that "you need to be more relaxed...just let loose and stop worrying about things!"
The point is...in a marriage, we often try to get our partner to become more like OURSELVES. It's just a fact of life because it's EASIER to deal with people who share your values and beliefs.
But since your spouse can't get YOU to change and YOU can't get YOUR SPOUSE to change, how is it possible for the two of you to become happily married?
By getting your spouse to UNDERSTAND what's RIGHT about you.
Introducing An EASY, EFFORTLESS And
PAINLESS Way To Find Out And Prove To
Your Spouse What's GREAT About You!
It's a non-invasive, 100% POSITIVE way to break the tension and open the lines of communication so you can begin your first step towards a more fulfilling marriage....
The Only Phone-Based, LIVE Support For
Couples Who Want To Become Happily Married...
...But Can't Find A Way To Do It On Their Own!
Here are some of the insights you'll discover through Marriage 101:
- Almost INSTANTLY diffuse the tension and open the lines of communication in your relationship.
(In every struggling marriage, there is one spouse who is more frustrated than the other. Very often this spouse is not open to discussing feelings, issues, the current state of their marriage, or very much else other than normal everyday things.
One of the key tools in Marriage 101, The Flag Page, does a remarkable job at breaking the tension and opening up discussion due to the 100% POSITIVE approach and light-hearted nature of the tool and discussion during our call together.)
- Gain a sense of NEW HOPE for your formerly hopeless marriage.
(The insights taught within Marriage 101 will give you a new sense of hope for your future together because I will show you, and PROVE to you, that your marriage is not as bad as you might think it is.
Marriage 101 is the first step in the right direction. Rather than attending a marriage counseling session and leaving feeling frustrated and angry, after our call together the two of you will have had FUN together - maybe even for the first time in months.)
- Get answers to the age-old question, "Why does s/he do that?"
(Most struggling couples are unhappy because they deeply misunderstand each other. Once you and your spouse begin to support each other, you’ll begin to thrive and succeed together.)
You’ll be able to STOP guessing what will make your spouse happy.
(Finally, you’ll be able to discover who you’re REALLY married to. The powerful online tool called the Flag Page has actually saved some marriages all by itself!)
PROOF that there is no "bad guy" in your relationship.
(After taking just 5 minutes to complete your Flag Page online (ABSOLUTELY NO invasive questions involved), during our call together you and your spouse will hear a 100% POSITIVE “story” about who you are, what motivates you and where you will succeed in life.)
- No longer struggle for words to express how you want to be treated.
(Instead of fumbling around searching for words to express how you want your spouse to treat you, the Flag Page outlines a clear and definite plan on EXACTLY HOW and WHY each of you want to be treated a certain way.)
- Achieve PERSONAL fulfillment in addition to fulfillment in your marriage.
(This is the quickest and easiest way to find out your most important motivations in life; not just your marriage. Not only will you hear positive things about yourself, but just as importantly, you'll discover that your spouse has a set of motivations you can begin to understand and support. That changes everything.)
- SIGNIFICANTLY reduce the amount of arguments in your marriage.
(During our call together, the two of you will discover that very often you are quite literally "stepping on" each others' ways of succeeding in life! You know WHY you're offended by something your spouse does or says...but you don't know why...UNTIL NOW!)
Marriage 101 Is The EXACT OPPOSITE
Of Marriage Counseling...
You don't tell me, I tell you what's great about each of you and together, we will get to the source of your arguments...instead of dealing with the symptoms.
It's easy. Through Marriage 101, you start by taking a 5 minute quiz on line called the Flag Page (shown below) that will show you what's RIGHT about you.
It took me 12 years to perfect this “formula”, but today it has made a positive impact on well over 40,000+ people by helping them gain a sense of purpose and direction in life by discovering the REAL source of the arguments in their marriage.
"Marriage Help Just Doesn’t
Get Any Better Than This..."
Marriage help just doesn’t get any better than this. Everything about the Flag Page, was so enlightening and eye-opening, every couple should start their life together with this amazing insight.
- Austin and Souhila Calder - Boca Raton, Florida
Here's What You Can Expect To Receive
When You Complete Your Flag Page...
1. Two Customized Assessments, 6 Pages Each
You'll each will receive 6 pages of customized assessments, or "stories" like the ones below explaining who you really are at heart and what your greatest talents, strengths and motivations are.
(Click on images to enlarge)
2. A 2-Hour Phone Session of LIVE Support
After you each complete your Flag Pages online, you will receive a LIVE, 2 HOUR phone session with one of my Marriage Translators!
You'll Also Receive An MP3 Download of Your Marriage 101 Call So You Can Discover Insights You Missed the First Time Around!
If you choose to, you will also receive a recorded copy of the call delivered to you in an MP3 format for later listening.
We give you the OPTION of recording your live call so you can listen to it again and again, gaining new insights into this enlightening two-hour call.
Please note that this recording is OPTIONAL and you must specifically request that your call be recorded, otherwise we will assume you do not want us to record your call.
(The reason we ask you request the recording is because some couples are uneasy about the idea of being recorded, so they choose to not have their Marriage 101 call recorded.)
Your recording will remain confidential with no other party listening to the conversation other than the two of you and your Marriage Translator.
3. Discover Your "Driving Force"
Your "Driving Force" force gives you a clear and specific set of "rules" on how to support each other. Think of it like a road map of your spouse. You will know exactly what you have to do to make your spouse feel loved and fulfilled in your marriage, and s/he will do the same for you. You'll be able to identify all the "red flags" that will immediately "set off" your spouse so you can focus on rebuilding your marriage and stop making mistakes.
Your Driving Force is based on your Flag Page. During your live support call, we will help you to create 5 expressions that really matter to each of you. When we identify these 5 expressions, we'll match them up and compare them with your spouses' Driving Force and ultimately, you will realize HOW and WHY you are literally "stepping on" each others' way of succeeding in life.
Many couples believe the Driving Force exercise is worth the investment in and of itself, so much that they can't put a price on it.
Marriage 101 Uses the Flag
Page to Open The Lines Of Communication and Breaks
Tension Like NOTHING ELSE Does.
Here’s what one man had to say after learning about his Flag Page...
"The Flag Page Has Radically
Changed My Life...
Meditation, Hypnosis, Cognitive
Therapy, Introspection and Drugs
All Failed To Answer One Right
Question; ”Who am I?”
...Now That I Know The Answer To
This Question... I Am No Longer
Trying To Change; I Am Becoming
What I Was Intended To Be."
"When I first encountered the Flag Page, I cynically passed it off as just another self-help miracle cure. But in fact, it is based upon ancient and proven wisdom, and gave me the only accurate picture that I have ever had of myself.
I have spent nearly 50 years searching for answers from philosophers, ranging from Maharishi to Dave Barry. I found few answers, so I turned to psychotherapy and prescription medications. After five years of therapy and medication, I was in danger of becoming critically quirky, and still had no answers.
The Flag Page has radically changed my life.
Meditation, hypnosis, cognitive therapy, introspection and drugs- all failed to answer one Right Question; ”Who am I?” Now that I know the answer to this question, I no longer waste my time with pointless questions and feel that I have been set free from a lifetime of neurotic whining.
Most of all, I am enjoying a new set of challenges based upon stunningly accurate self-realization. I am no longer trying to change; I am becoming what I was intended to be."
Stevens Point, WI
But What Makes Marriage 101 Different
From Other Marriage Saving Solutions Is
The Fact That We Don't Focus On
ISSUES, We Focus On The Solution!
And best of all, you'll learn how to SUPPORT each other, instead of criticizing each other for your very different ways of doing things and living life.
But it's important that you know the Flag Page is NOT about CHANGING WHO YOU ARE. It's about understanding who you really are by discovering what's right about you.
Focusing on improving your weaknesses is NOT going to do you any good.
The key is to FOCUS on your strengths...
Can't I Find Something Like
This Anywhere Else?
In a word, no. There is no other product on the internet, or anywhere for that matter that can do for your marriage what Marriage 101 can. No one, in over 15 years of doing this has seen anything like this before.
I've never had anyone argue with me. In fact, I dare you to give Marriage 101 a try and back it up with my 100% Money-Back Satisfaction Guarantee!
I Back Up What I'm Saying With A Promise and a 100% Risk-Free
Guarantee: If you're both not satisfied with the results of your experience with Marriage 101 and you do not learn anything new about your spouse, just let us know within 24 hours and we'll gladly give you a full refund. That's how confident we are that Marriage 101 will help you truly understand each other.
That's TWO HOURS of live support you'll receive on the belief that Marriage 101 will teach you how to fulfill each others' needs in a way you never knew before.
Who Should NOT Participate
In Marriage 101?
Marriage 101 is NOT for you IF...
You are so full of hatred and resentment that you can't even think straight...
You actually ENJOY the "high" of resentment and contempt.
Will Marriage 101 Save Your Marriage?
Marriage 101 is not intended to save your marriage. It is intended to help you discover what is MISSING from your marriage that is preventing you from being happy together.
"Through Marraige 101, the Flag Page Has Made Things Just So Wonderful...I Am Feeling
Like A Part Of (My Husband's) Life -
A Feeling I Haven't Had For Years!"
Through Marriage 101, the Flag Page has made things just so wonderful - like they were long ago! I am feeling like a part of his life - a feeling I haven't had for several years.”
- Sue & Dennis Henschel
Think of Marriage 101 as your transitional step from "I'm just not sure if this marriage is going to work" to..."I really do believe we can work this out!".
In a Nutshell, Here Is a Quick "Recap"
What Marriage 101 Can Do For You...
Significantly reduces the tension in your relationship.
Creates a sense of understanding that leads to better communication.
Is a first step in the right direction because it gives each of you NEW HOPE and shows you your marriage is not as bad as you might think it is.
Helps you think of the words to express how you want your spouse to treat you. You'll know EXACTLY HOW and WHY you want to be treated a certain way.
Finally, get a clear understanding of who your spouse really is, what REALLY motivates him/her and what it means to you
Clear the “smokescreen” and discover the REAL causes of your arguments and disagreements
Never again argue over "whose way is right", because you'll have a clear understanding of how your values were created...
And today, you can sign up for Marriage 101 for just $247!
So sign up for Marriage 101 today and restore your original love.
"It Was (Marriage 101's) Flag Page
That Explained The Differences
Between Shawn and Me As People,
But Also As Man and Woman...
...The Guesswork Has Been Taken
Away and Replaced With Tangible
Information We Can Act On."
It was Marriage 101's Flag Page that explained the differences between Shawn and me as people, but also as man and woman.
Without the Flag Page, we never would have had this insight or opportunity to understand our two teenage daughters. The girls told us that it meant a lot to them that we would do this Flag Page just so we could understand them.
We have more confidence in our relationships with our children because the lights have been turned on and we are no longer grasping in the dark for answers. The guesswork has been taken away and replaced with tangible information we can act on.
Shawn & Tamara Marion - Plover, Wisconsin
WARNING: Don't Put This Off
I must issue this formal "warning" to you because I don't want you to be one of those people who calls me up and says, "Larry, please help me, my wife/husband wants a divorce."
The Biggest MISTAKE You Can
Make Is Undervaluing and
Underestimating Your Spouses'
Level Of Discontentment.
So what can you do about it?...
- RATE YOUR MARRIAGE -
In fact, I'm so serious about this, I've included this MARRIAGE METER (below) so you can ask your spouse for where he or she is on the scale.
Click the image below for a printable version of the Marriage Meter.
This will help the two of you know where you are at in your marriage...what you find might surprise you!
WARNING: An unhappy spouse may not stay in one position on the Marriage Meter very long before dropping to the next. Don't wait for that to happen. Do something positive for your marriage today, before it's too late!
I STRONGLY SUGGEST that if you have the intention of signing up for Marriage 101, you do it TODAY. If you wait, or put it off, your spouse can "pull the plug" and give up in a matter of MINUTES with NO WARNING at all.
You Will Also Receive These 3 FREE
Bonuses If You Sign Up Today...
FREE Bonus #1
You will receive a recorded copy of the call delivered to you in an MP3 format for later listening.
FREE Bonus #2
You will receive instant access to download my breakthrough ebook, The 7 Secrets To Eliminating Your Negative Feelings in 60 Seconds...
Here is some of what you'll discover inside:
How to improve your self-esteem by "shutting off" your negative thoughts the moment they appear.
How to keep bad feelings like jealousy out of your life.
How to stop worrying what others think of you.
How to get other people to treat you better.
Why focusing on improving your attitude actually makes your life harder.
How to find the quickest path to get peace of mind in spite of your circumstances.
And much, much more!
FREE Bonus #3
The Marriage Expectation Analyzer:
"Your 7 Step Plan To Lowering Your Marriage Stress"
Receive this Free, $67 value Bonus Tool...
What Does It Do?
This tool will help you determine which of your spouse's Ultimate Expectations you are meeting...and which ones could lead to the destruction of your marriage if they're not dealt with very soon!
You and your spouse will be able to compare and contrast each other's greatest needs in life to see which areas you need to improve and which Expectations make up the "glue" that's still holding your marriage together.
This tool will help each of you know EXACTLY what issues are preventing the two of you from creating the marriage you've always hoped for.
HINT: The longer these Ultimate Expectations go un-noticed, the higher your RESENTMENT (a.k.a. one of the major culprits behind divorces) towards each other becomes...building up so much over time until one day your spouse catches you completely off guard by uttering those dreaded words..."I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore."
"(Marriage 101) Really
Opened Some Answers To
Understanding How Much Easier
It Is To Meet
Our Real Needs..."
We discovered each other’s Flag Pages and learned about who we are and how this affects each other and our children. It really opened some answers to understanding how much easier it is to meet our real needs.
Jim & Donna McCabe - Vancouver, Washington
Okay, I'm Ready To Get Started,
How Does This Work?
||Simply Sign Up For The Marriage 101 Program On This Page Below.
||Once we receive confirmation of your order, you will receive a special access code so you can complete your Flag Page online.
||My assistant Kristen will then contact you to schedule a time for your private 2-hour phone call.
As You Know, There Are Many Marriage
Saving Solutions Available On The Internet...
But The Fact Is, NONE Of Them Offer
The High Level of LIVE, One-On-One Support That Marriage 101 Does.
An ebook or at-home study course simply can't help you if you're looking for a REAL PERSON to talk to.
If you're ready to be taken by the hand and shown exactly what you need to do to feel like you're falling in love again...
I guarantee you’ll be thrilled with what you'll discover about yourself and your spouse, so you’ve got nothing to lose!
To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,
P.S. Every minute that passes increases the chance of your spouse reaching "the point of no return". All it takes is one heated argument...or one cold look to "set your spouse off" and call it quits.
I've seen "sticky situations" in one case where the wife filed for divorce without even telling her husband about it...until one day the papers appeared at his doorstep.
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!