How To Succeed In Your Second Marriage

Second marriages put a couple under far more stain than they ever imagined, especially when children from previous marriages are in the home. Tension can remain high and communication greatly strained.

It’s important that husbands and wives in second marriages understand their roles as step parents and the seemingly complex relationship with their stepchildren.

There are many ways to do this wrong, so I will be covering this topic in further depth soon.



  • Mitz

    Reply Reply January 22, 2008

    Is there such a thing as too much knowledge? I have changed my tactics in expressing my desire to handle the three things wrong with our relationship that I feel I have lost him completely. Did I try to hard to make it simple for him to understand and not feel pressure?

  • Larry Bilotta

    Reply Reply January 22, 2008


    You changed your way of expressing your desire to deal with the three problems of your relationship, but you didn’t say what you changed. You suggested that you tried too hard to make it simple for him to understand. I’m not sure what you mean.

    When people write to me about their most intimate relationship, their marriage, they struggle to express what they did and what their spouse reacted to. In order to help them communicate with me, I ask them to locate their attitude on my Attitude Scale (choose a number) and then locate their spouse’s attitude on the Attitude Scale. By doing this, you can say “I was at Number 25 and he was at Number 12.” That would tell me a great deal.

    There are two things that happen when you communicate with each other. You express “words” and you also send out a feeling we call Attitude. My Attitude Scale measures this thing called Attitude in a graphical way using numbers. If you stay in the top 1/3rd of the Attitude scale, you can say almost anything and it will be received well.

    If you are south of #15, then it really doesn’t matter what words you use – it won’t be received well by your husband.

    If you’ve read much of what I have written on the internet, you know that I always drive home the idea that you must feel good first, and then you will do good. Most experts don’t agree. They want you to do good first and then they claim you will feel good. But how many people do you know who do good things for others even though they are south of #15 on the Attitude Scale?

    Mitz, if you want to use the Attitude Scale and tell me about your and his feelings, I’ll have a better way to help you.


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